


Incident Report

by storiesfortravellers



Category: DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Attempted Physical Attack on a Minor, Crack, Documentation, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Long-Suffering Jim Gordon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where the baddies of Gotham are in a rock band. </p><p>Incident reports filed by Jim Gordon, head of security for Gotham Park Hotel, about the multiple violations of hotel policy and public safety committed by members of the band Gotham Is Mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incident Report

**Author's Note:**

> For trope bingo for AU-Band.

MEMORANDUM

To: Management Team, Gotham Park Hotel  
From: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel  
Subject: Upcoming Hotel Guests

It has come to my attention that the band Gotham Is Mine is planning to stay at our hotel for next week while they are in town performing on their concert tour. I feel a responsibility to point out that although having such a famous (and infamous) band stay here as our guests would bring publicity to our establishment, the band members have a well-founded reputation for bringing violence and chaos wherever they go, to say nothing of the noise violations, harassment of employees and other guests, and trashed hotel rooms. The Gotham Park Hotel has been among the most respected hospitality establishments in this city for many decades, and for the safety and comfort of our guests and employees, I strongly urge that we request the band to reside elsewhere during their stay in the city.

 

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 15

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: Since the management team declined my suggestion to have the band Gotham Is Mine stay at another hotel, the band members arrived at 8:05PM last night. At 8:07PM, the lead guitarist Fish Mooney stabbed the lead singer Oswald Cobblepot in the thigh, using the pen at the reception desk. This led to screaming, audible criminal threats, and blood. At the request of management, I did not report the incident to police, though I want it noted that there is a clear legal obligation to do so. Ms. Mooney was entirely unrepentant about the incident, and Mr. Cobblepot smiled and pretended that everything was fine, but it is clear that he is planning some retribution that we simply do not want to occur in our hotel.

Further actions needed: I again STRONGLY urge management to ask these “guests” to find alternative accommodations. 

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 15

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: As I did not see the band’s new bass player enter the hotel, yet noticed a great deal of room service being ordered to her room, I checked on her to make sure that all was in order. Upon meeting the bass player, I discovered that she is a minor, likely between 13-14 years old. She refused to identify herself beyond telling me to call her “Cat.” She claims that her parents are “totally cool” with her being in a band, though it is clear that a minor should not be around the alcohol, drugs, and other adult behaviors of a typical rock band, and particularly not around the felonious personalities of Gotham Is Mine. She refused to answer further questions, and upon inquiring about her to the other band members, I received multiple contradictory information. Finally, the drummer, Ed Nygma, informed me that the minor child was a fan of the band who had blackmailed the manager into allowing her to join the band.

Further actions needed: We have a responsibility to safeguard the minors on our premises, and so I strongly recommend reporting this to social services. Since I know management will not listen to this very basic request for human decency, I will be keeping an eye on the young woman’s safety, though it will be difficult given the multitude of other problem guests with the band.

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 16

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: Drummer Ed Nygma left a dead chipmunk in front of the door of another hotel guest, who was understandably quite perturbed. Nigma claims that the dead chipmunk was a hint to a riddle that he had previously asked the hotel guest to solve. 

Further actions needed: I have given Nygma advice on how to talk to women he would like to converse with. I hope that no further actions will be necessary.

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 17

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: The hotel bar, a nightspot known for its genteel sophistication, was the site of a massive brawl in which there were 24 injuries. The brawl started as an altercation between Gotham Is Mine guitarist Fish Mooney and the band’s manager, Carmine Falcone. Apparently, the argument was about Carmine’s girlfriend, whom Mooney claimed was only there because she looked just like Carmine’s mother. 

Further actions needed: I would AGAIN ask that this band be sent to another hotel. This is dozens of lawsuits waiting to happen.

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 18

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: The minor “Cat” kicked another hotel guest in the head repeatedly. The guest was a 6-foot-4-inch tall man. Further investigation shows that the head-kicking incident was in self defense. She had laughed at him for being "a pathetic loser" and he had tried to punch her. He is now at the hospital, and I have informed the police that he should be arrested. Since the man is not a celebrity, I assume management won't care. The police department claimed to be too busy to help, and so I have warned the man to never come near this hotel again.

Further actions needed: Cat still refuses to provide her parents’ contact information. She claims that she will accuse the hotel and the security team and management of spying on her in the shower with cameras if we do not let this issue go. I welcome suggestions. We should not allow these band members to further influence this young mind, despite the fact that Nygma claims that the young girl is “the scariest out of all of us.”

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 19

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: The band’s promoter, Sal Maroni, was found trying to kill lead singer Oswald Cobblepot by shoving him down the trash chute. It is unclear how Mr. Cobblepot ends up the target of so many violent attacks, but it is yet another indication of the unwiseness of allowing these guests to continue to stay at a hotel with our formerly illustrious reputation. 

Further actions needed: We will need to keep a close eye on Maroni. Also, Cobblepot has been attempting to bribe our security staff to take retaliatory action against Mooney and Maroni. We should be vigilant about preserving the integrity of our staff.

 

———

INCIDENT REPORT JANUARY 20

Person filling out this report: Jim Gordon, Head of Security, Gotham Park Hotel

Description of incident: There were 17 separate incidents today, all of which involved the members or associated employees of the band Gotham Is Mine. While these incidents are too numerous to explain in full, I would like the following items noted:

1\. I told you allowing the band to stay here was a bad idea. 

2\. I’m not going to quit. I know you all want me to. I won’t.

Further actions needed:  
I really wish I had a friend who would just beat up people when I explained how bad they are.


End file.
